Rabbi Feldman's Blog

11-year-Old's Conversation Suggests A Lifetime Challenge...
The Longest And Most Important Conversation Of Our Lives

I had a conversation with an 11-year-old (scheduled with the help of his parents). I confess wondering what topic this 11 year old would bring up with me. Trouble with his peers? Anxiety about his bar mitzvah? Kashruth question about a candy bar he liked?

I entered the conversation determined to make sure the boy felt important, intent on making sure he knew that I took his subject seriously.

This turned out to be no challenge. His soul was doing the talking. And, in matters of the soul, age, and maturity make no difference. His soul is not a child’s soul, and mine is not the soul of a middle aged man. 
 

He wanted to get advice about what to do regarding his davening. There were two parts to his problem:

1) He is working on pronouncing all the words carefully, and he is going section by section on this project. That means he has to pray at a pace that is slower than the minyan in which he davens. This leaves him behind and causes him distress as he tries to stay in sync with everyone else. What should he do?

2) He finds that, though he tries to focus on Hashem when he davens, but he is constantly distracted by other things and thoughts, including silly movies he has seen that keep on entering his head at the worst times. 

My soul instantly recognized his soul, and the familiar trials this young boy was encountering. We were suddenly fellow travelers, discussing the typical challenges along the route to encountering Gd in prayer. He was too young to know that this was the struggle of davening for everyone on the planet. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he would never fully avoid this problem, that prayer was the art of repeatedly failing and trying again.

There was nothing wrong with this struggle, it’s the work we all have to do! Beyond the practical suggestions which were in order, the only question is, can we as adults learn from the candor of this 11-year old…and apply our maturity and life experience to this ongoing challenge? Tefillah is the most important conversation any of us will ever have ….are you up for this challenge?

• Post Yom Tov Reflections

  I'm happy to share my first-ever blog with you

  
  One of the goals of the Avodah Building Block is to encourage a community-wide discussion about personal growth in mitzvah observance. The idea is to create a community in which it is natural and safe to discuss one’s successes and frustrations in self-development as a Jew, and to realize the inspiration and support that is available when others around us are comfortable sharing themselves with others in this way.
  
  Our "kickoff" Building Blocks program had excellent participation from people like you and me -- over 150 participants, with a group sesion, then men's and women's breakout sessions. There were powerful lessons to be had, no matter what level of experience people had in their Jewish learning and prayer. So many people remarked that they appreciated talking candidly about the challenges of focusing during their tefillah, and were inspired by each other's remarks. We've continued with phone conferences, and updates, and there's more to come soon, during the final weeks of our Avodah period, and moving into the Klal Yisroel segment.
  
  On Simchas Torah, an unexpected but welcome “bonus” of inspiration along these lines developed unexpectedly, and provided a wonderful “send-off” into the new year.
  
  After the auction on Simchas Torah eve, I was left with the sense that there were many people who wanted to make commitments of their own in honor of the Torah, but were unable to participate in the auction because the levels of giving were out of range for them. The next day, standing at the pulpit, I suggested a second auction, only in this auction the commodity would not be money/tzeddaka, but  time, expressed as undertakings in Torah study or other mitzvah observances. The only condition was that they had to be inspiring.
  
  The response was amazing. People seemed eager to make commitments, and were quite innovative in what they came up with. The promises ranged from weekly time commitments to Torah study to attendance at minyan to improvements in relating to their spouses. What was also touching was the fact that well after Yom Tov and Shabbos were over, people were still communicating to me their personal commitments to various mitzvah initiatives.
  
  As we complete this first "Avodah" Buiilding Block, and move into the second one, "Klal Yisroel," I encourage you to challenge yourself to grow in these areas, and join your fellow Beth Jacob members in this extraordinary endeavor.  Whether you're a relative beginner of an expereinced scholar, I encourage you to join us!
  
  If you have any thoughts to share about your own initiatives, or about any other aspect of the Building Blocks program, please feel free to share them with me: Buildingblocks@bethjacobatlanta.org or Rabbi@bethjacobatlanta.org.

  I'll be updating this blog weekly.