Building Blocks of Community

3 years ago: I learned that Yom Kippur can transport me to a different time and place, a completely different plane of existence. I don't know how it happened, but I was in a different universe. It was a truly amazing experience, one that I have not experienced before or since.

2 years ago: I learned that Yom Kippur can be meaningful even without having the trans-formative experience of the previous year. I kept on waiting for the "magic" of the previous year to engulf me, but waited in vain. Once I accepted that it need not be like that every year, I was able to appreciate Yom Kippur for that year's experience, whatever it may be

1 year ago: I learned that I can focus on the here and now, instead of being anxious about the later. In the morning, I kept on thinking about how many more seconds were left to the fast, and my mind was completely in the future time -- when fast will be over. It may the present almost unbearable. At some point, later in the morning, I decided that mindset was useless. Instead I decided to focus on right now, on the tefilla I am saying right now. On the piyut the kahal is singing together right now. The amazing thing is that I was able to completely change my mind set. Suddenly, Yom Kippur was truly profound and meaningful. I never thought I had the power to completely change my mindset and focus on the right now. Yom Kippur was once again a transformative experience, but in a very different way from two years ago.

this year: I learned that Yom Kippur can be enjoyable. I know that seems like a strange word to use, but I can't find a better word.

Simply put - I enjoyed Yom Kippur. The feeling of connectedness of the kahal. The spirit of the davening. The focus. I almost never thought about "when will it end". I never thought I would experience that.

So, Yom Kippur the past few years have been so educational for me -- learning things about myself and God that I never would have known otherwise. I also think, that looking back, each year's experience built on the experience and "lesson" of the previous year. I look forward to finding out what I learn next year.

Rabbi Freundlich’s "Bilvavi” class:
Building My Relationship With G-d And With People Around Me

Before Rosh Hashanna Rabbi Freundlich delivered a class based on the recently published book by Rabbi Itamr Schwartz “Bilvavi” (In My Heart I will Build a Sanctuary.) this is from one of the participants:

The class dealt with one of the most fundamental concepts of our lives as Jews – relating to G-d. How do we build a connection to something we can’t seem to really relate to, something not physical?  

What io began to see is that my relationship to G-d is similar to my relationship to the people in my life. The relationship is a choice that is up to me. I can choose to relate or choose to not relate to my friends, family and spouse. It is easy to go through the motions, to do mitzvos, but if I never stop to think about G-d then my relationship with G-d is shallow. If I never stop to think about the other people in my life, there is no real relationship. Building relatedness requires building sensitivity to the existence of the other party.  

·         The questions and exercises the Rabbi suggests shake me up. Some examples:

o   Write down five things that are important to me. (I actually did this, was surprised to find it easy to do, and was even more surprised to realize that these important things do influence my actions, thoughts and struggles virtually every day.)

o   Remind myself several times a day to be aware of these important things, and realize that they are not in my thoughts most of the time. (I haven’t done this yet, but am still determined to do it.)

o   Writing down the “neshama moments,” the most transcendent moments in my life. (I haven’t attempted this one yet, I’m a little afraid of it, particularly afraid that I won’t be able to think of any such moments.)

·         Crystallizing the key messages forces me to think about what they really mean to me:

o   Making the awareness of my personal relationship to G-d the context of my life, the envelope within which I act.

o   Noticing the way I am, as a first step toward being able to manage the way I am.

o   Each person has his own mission; everyone’s world is different. Understanding this statement has been a revelation to me, and has helped me to relate to the few other people (very few, so far) with whom I have explored this thought.

o   How “what’s important to me” relates to ”what my duty and obligation are in this world.” Does it? I don’t know yet; they seem on the surface to be far apart.

o   Working toward watchfulness, paying attention not only to what I do, but also to my ways. Keeping the busyness of daily life from keeping me in a state of unconsciousness about my most fundamental choices.

I am so impressed with the growth that is taking place in the community and the wealth of opportunities that are being made available to us.  Thanks.

I was on two building block conference calls. Both were extremely impactful and left me inspired and with clear new ideas of actions I could take in my life and things I could look for in myself throughout the week.

The first call was about noticing when the body is talking and when the soul is talking. I think there were more than 10 women on the call (not sure). People shared that once they distinguished whether the voice of the body or the voice of the soul was talking, it was much easier and more joyful to choose to let the soul dominate. Women shared that the little steps of some of the exercises from the first week were making a big difference in their lives. For example, procrastinating about bentching was easy to give up once it was noticed that it was the body talking, taking 5 minutes to go for a walk or davening in Hebrew, or reaching out to connect to a friend - all felt good and were easy little steps to take to connect to G-d and listen to the voice of the soul.

Being on the call is valuable for several reasons: 1) it keeps me in the conversation and keeps me aware of the usefulness of paying attention to whether the body or soul is talking; 2) it is inspiring. Hearing other women’s victories and sharing my own helps create a sense of unity and relatedness that is a welcome addition to the community 3) the call strengthens the concepts learned in the first building blocks’ class & this helps internalize the material more quickly and completely. Finally, I found myself sharing my own observations and thoughts with people in my life after the calls.

Being on the group call provided a greater sense of connection with the women who are in the class. Once we start to share and reveal things about ourselves on the call, we share victories and we share challenges, there is a sense of community and that we are all moving forward together.

Practically, the call reminded me of the distinctions in the class, provided motivation to do the homework (sharing about it with others to move the conversation forward). The second call, just before Rosh Hashana, we talkeda bout food, as a mitzvah and as a tool for our ego to help us look good. We were encouraged to make one less “kugel” so we could be better rested and prepared form Yom Tov and to guard our tables..and make sure there was no Lashon hara spoken at our tables.  These suggestions were easy to put into action and very helpful reminders.  Ending the call with the statement, “I am a Bas Yisroel, bringing G-d into the world with everything I do, say & think” was an inspiring reminder as well.